do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
Randomize
