We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
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