The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
Randomize
