3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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