I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
