just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Randomize
