D3 body, D1 cock
2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
Randomize