I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
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