? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Randomize
