Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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