I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
Randomize