when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
I will die if light touches me.
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
Randomize
