I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
A+ Viking dick
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Randomize
