dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
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