I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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