Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
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