He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Randomize
