She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
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