no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
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