Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
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