Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
