Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Randomize
