what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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