he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
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