Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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