***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
Randomize
