Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
Randomize
