I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
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