why do cheetos always look like penises
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
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