Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
Randomize
