At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
