She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
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