i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
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