I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
Randomize
