If that was your dad, he is hot
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
