Just mADE A PArabola og urine
ugly people sure do ruin things
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Randomize
