just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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