how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
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