He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
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