So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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