Kiss
Puke
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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