ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
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