yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
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