State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
