She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Randomize
