Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
