I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize
