you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
