she sounds like chewbacca in bed
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
Randomize
