does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
