I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
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