Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Randomize