You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
How external is "for external use only"?
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
A+ Viking dick
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
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