you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
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