I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Randomize
