Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Randomize
