my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
