I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
Where is the hickey?
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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