My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
Brb crying the tears of my youth
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
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