weddingsv make me drug and hornr
Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
Randomize