Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Randomize
