these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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