based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
Randomize
