Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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