soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Randomize