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• (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.

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• (401): View more from Rhode Island

  Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.

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• (205): View more from Alabama

  She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.

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• (604): View more from British Columbia

  I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.

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• (405): View more from Oklahoma

  Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance

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• (406): View more from Montana

  She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that

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• (870): View more from Arkansas

  he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"

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• (647): View more from Ontario

  I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.

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• (678): View more from Georgia

  Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.

  (404): View more from Georgia

  We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.

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• (317): View more from Indiana

  Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?

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• (413): View more from Massachusetts

  If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.

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• (614): View more from Ohio

  Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.

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• (614): View more from Ohio

  you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.

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• (541): View more from Oregon

  Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.

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• (808): View more from Hawaii

  Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.

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