I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
