ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize
