I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Randomize
