she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
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