May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Randomize
