she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
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