yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
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