Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
