apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
