every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
Randomize