so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Randomize
