what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Randomize
